I am not normally one to write about my feelings. On Social Media, I am more inclined to avoid my feelings, politics, controversy or anything that might end up turning away friends, family, or honestly, potential clients. But, I was struck with fear and a sinking feeling of deep sadness as the emails and headlines started rolling in about Iranian missiles striking an Iraqi military base housing American and other military members.
I thought about 2003, and the protests of the imminent Iraq War. I remembered watching my mom standing in front of the TV, crying, as troops invaded Kuwait. I thought of my brother that served in Iraq and my other brother that is currently in Germany and has fought in more than one unclassified mission currently. My eyes well up and my heart breaks as the truth about these current strikes in Iraq are played on repeat on the nightly news. I do not know what the future holds, and it is terrifying.
I vow today, and for at least all of 2020, to actively, ferociously, choose love. I presently and willfully choose to open my heart; to truly give my attention, patience, tolerance, and most importantly love to myself, my colleagues, my friends, my family, and most importantly, everyone else. Even now, as I write this, I want to delete this announcement and take it back! I want to run and hide, terrified in the face of seeming darkness and worldly cynicism. My mind screams, who will I be? What will they think of me? And mostly, what if I fail? Well, to that I say, "What will I lose if I do not choose love?"
A close friend of mine always says, "You have to give love to get love."